I am not on good terms with time.
I don’t like that it passes.
I spend more time stressing about something in the future or in the past, rather than being present in the moment.
I am a procrastinator.
I don’t have regular routines that are enjoyable or helpful.
I estimate time badly.
I want to live forever, and I resent that I won’t be here for all the time ever.
But I am not good at making use of the time I do have.
I need to improve my relationship with time and make it my ally.
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 
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