… I’ve been hiding. But I realize, the only purpose of this free blog that nobody reads, is to act as my conscience. Because someone sometimes could potentially maybe stumble on it, carries a slightly higher accountability level than my paper notebook. And while I much prefer writing with a pen to typing, I really do need a resemblance of external pressure. That’s a fact confirmed by a psychologist. Knowing that I won’t magically develop intrinsic motivation, and understanding that I don’t have time to build it up, for now these hidden pubic letters to my external conscience shall bear the brunt. It’s just too complex for me to find a real life accountability partner for un-messing the mess of my life.
Dear Conscience, you are it. You need to help me get through this.
I shall no longer try to fix 7 things at the same time. I shall start with one. And that one shall be time. Once I feel some minimum resemblance of control over my time, I can add a new mess.
Time is no longer for Tuesdays.
Time is every day.
Until I’ve gotten just enough time control to be able to see beyond time.
Time is everything
Work time, sleeping time, fun time, time time time. Life is the time that is mine. Essentially. I shall take control of it.
Conscience, my baby is taking a nap now. This is my time to check in with you. I’ll check in tomorrow again. I promise.
Sincerely,
B.
Becoming Bakitza 
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