All-nighters in Sight

Dear Conscience,

Hello again. I’ve been away, but haven’t forgotten about you. It’s yet again one of those last minute periods when I’m running around and panicking. Even through I’ve behaved semi-accountable recently, my lifestyle of mess and procrastination is catching up with any progress I make.

For example, I wanted to pack early (3 days before the flight). And when I went to get the shoes I planned to wear, one was missing. Who has one dressy shoe inexplicably missing? A messy procrastinator who just throws things into hidden piles during last minute panicky cleanups. So instead of packing, I spent half my day looking for the other shoe, browsing online stores looking for alternatives, and planning in shoe-shopping runs.

I did find the other shoe eventually, in the evening. But I lost a day at a time when I couldn’t afford losing days. So lifelong procrastination adds up, and at some point, even starting to pack 3 days early isn’t enough.

My hope that sustained effort will lead me to a place where I’m no longer the person who cannot find one shoe.

At this point, I can’t get ready for this trip without pulling an all-nighter or dropping a major potentially life-changing ball. All-nighters have a different price now that I’m a middle-aged mom of a toddler, compared to those student days. Life-changing mistakes too.

Wish me luck!

Sincerely,

B.