Becoming Bakitza

An aspiring bakitza attempting to slowly take control of her journey

Consistent Reasonable Effort

Dear Conscience,

I’m glad I sat down yesterday to write out everything I need to do over the next 10 days. It feels less insurmountable. Though a plan calms me down, I shouldn’t get too complacent, because if I don’t fail at planning, I usually fail at implementation of the plan.

Today has been OK. I haven’t done everything on the list. But this is only in part due to bad decisions. Large part of it is that I am not yet realistic when I plan my to-dos, and how much I can actually fit in a day.

I have to just keep up the pace, without overdoing and having a meltdown. But just consistent reasonable effort. Ah, isn’t that the dream? No meltdowns, just consistent reasonable effort. I just have to stop hoping for a life that requires no effort at all. I hope I made the first couple of steps towards one day getting there.

Sincerely,

B.

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bakitza

Bakitza in the making

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About Me

I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.

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