Dear Conscience,
Always again. I fumble a day, make grand plans for tomorrow, and then tomorrow an unexpected turn of events makes the grand plan impossible. So it would have been better to have gotten it done yesterday.
Also, had the ‘turn of events’ not happened, I probably would have fumbled anyway, and gotten maybe 20% of the ‘grand plan’ done. Or on the off chance that I really spent the day focused on implementing the plan, I’d have gotten maybe 50% done, because my ‘grand plans’ are usually unrealistically grand. But now, I’m spending the day caring for my sick mom and minding my toddler daughter, fully knowing my dad is already getting sick, and we are probably next.
Instead of the grand plan, I’m preparing to jump into yet another grand hole, and then trying to climb back up again. I don’t have the luxury to fumble anymore. I don’t have the luxury to close my eyes and assume I’ll get it done tomorrow.
I’m sleepy, I want to either sleep or watch a TV show. No. I’ll clean up a bit and write a to-do list for tomorrow. No grand plans, just grinding through.
Sincerely,
B.
Becoming Bakitza 
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