Still on the Ground Floor of Progress

Dear Conscience,

this will be my 99th day in a row that I am writing to you. This is now a habit, performed without need for willpower, without effort. I actually enjoy it. I feel like I need it in my day. Which helps me remember it even on days when the schedule is such that it almost slips my mind.

The only other habit that feels it’s become steady is that I don’t look at my phone in my bed at night. I sleep at night. And even if I can’t sleep, I still don’t go on my phone. I’ve manage this even without having found my kindle, which I thought was impossible. This one feels integrated even though I didn’t manage to achieve a long streak chain without a break here and there. It just makes sense, and it’s not so difficult to maintain. Probably there is enough physical distance between my bed and where my phone is charging. It takes a bit of momentum to get out of bed to go take my phone, and it gives me time to change my mind and not do it.

Now, the third one of my basic 3 habits, that’s been a bit of a struggle. It’s about my phone usage during the day. I am better – I don’t spend hours and hours on my phone anymore. But I don’t feel that it is enough. I need it to be more radical. And even though I already wrote about this more ‘radical’ plan, mentally I am still addicted. I still sit with my phone wanting to immerse in it (and away from awaits me in real life), looking for apps that might be ‘less bad’ to spend time on. Like learning apps, etc. But they are also random. And they’re not what I need. I need to peel my mind away from being dependent on my phone. I now have a little card on which I want to record my streak. And it’s in a little notebook in which I have to write my thoughts any time I want to break the focus setting. I know I just need to get over the hump. I long for this too to become a habit. I am looking forward to that life, without the phone weight around my neck.

Here I am, almost a 100 days in, still working on my 3 basic rules. I did think I’d be further along by now. But I am where I am, and I am determined to move forward from here. I knew I would be taking the stairs – not the elevator – in terms of progress speed. But I didn’t know it would take me this long to even reach the staircase.

Sincerely,

B.