Finances

Dear Conscience,

Tuesday is here, and so is the theme of Finances.

What’s up?

This is probably the most anxiety-inducing topic in recent years. And not because I’m broke (I don’t feel broke in day to day life), but rather because I’m not on a sustainable path towards retirement. I’m turning 40 next year, and I don’t have a proper retirement account nor a pension plan in place. And that’s scary.

What have I done to date?

I’ve started on the theme a little bit, as it was my second in line after time, but usually my still weak ability to manage my time and prioritize prevented me from making much progress. Also, to be frank, my anxiety about making financial decisions was a big roadblock.

The one element where I made some progress is in increasing the number of hours I work (I bill by time worked). And I have to keep that up. I spent the last couple of years simply working (and earning) too little. So that aspect is getting better, even though unfortunately I did not manage to negotiate the hopes increase in the rate that I charge.

But my earnings, while a crucial element of finances, won’t mean much if I keep leaving them to get wiped out by inflation, unplanned costs, lack of a budget, or a proper financial plan.

What do I plan to do?

Already just making a point today of thinking about finances has me realize that I’ll probably need to spend a lot of the first week of the year on this topic, before I can move on to other themes. I need to even just close the books for last year, but also open some accounts for different types of savings, investments, life insurance, etc.

Then afterwards, I would keep Tuesday as the day when I spend one hour focused on this topic: managing my finances, figuring out a budget, employability, etc.

I already missed so many boats when it comes to sustainably investing my money, that it makes me want to scream in my pillow and pull my hair out.

What will I do today?

I am a freelancer with my own company, and there are some expenses I need to administer properly before the year ends. This is not even to save money, it’s not to lose it for pure lack of accounting diligence. I do pay an accountant, but I need to submit and administer some transfers myself. I actually haven’t been using the accounting rules to my benefit, which has definitely cost me money already.

Finally, apart from the finance topic, I still need to get on with my life. I had planned out yesterday to pack properly today, and hopefully do it slowly over the course of the day, without causing stress late at night or early in the morning. And also some planning to see our friends. Sadly I am so overwhelmed that seeing friends feels like an obligation rather than a joy. A whole other topic for a whole other day.

Sincerely,

B.