self-help
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Slump Under Review
Dear Conscience,I am yet again, for a gazillionth time, working on digging myself out of a slump. As always, it includes going back to following my 3 basic rules, plowing through a backlog, while balancing the storm of to-dos in front of me. I’ve done this several times now since I started writing to you. Continue reading
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It Starts With Sleep
Dear Conscience,When I try to get back to life after such a big slump as recently, I have to start at the beginning. And the beginning is to get enough sleep. Among the many bad old habits I re-adopted recently, was delaying going to sleep in the evening. Given that I have to wake up Continue reading
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Remember Me?
Dear Conscience, Remember me? I haven’t truly been talking to you for several weeks now. Maybe I’ve checked in here and there, but I haven’t completely revealed myself. I was hiding because I was sad at first, and later embarrassed. The sadness gave me the excuse to let go, and I let go completely. I Continue reading
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Skipped a Beat
Dear Conscience, I didn’t write to you yesterday. A 64 day steak broken. But it’s not even the longest streak I broke. The more concerning part is that I’m stuck in my old habits and mindset, and can’t wiggle my way out. Ultimately ending with a breakdown of everything. I need to pick up the Continue reading
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Rise Slowly, Stay Steady
Dear Conscience, I took today to slowly gather myself, pick myself off the ground. I did laundry, groceries, washed my hair, and settled a couple of admin tasks. Nothing big, but beats sitting on the couch with my phone watching YouTube true crime videos. I need to keep going up from here. Unfortunately, I received Continue reading
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A Gross Post About Yucky Mouth
Dear Conscience, First, a disclaimer: Do not read this if you get grossed out by yucky topics of unhealthy mouth and dental area. Full disclosure, I am writing about this because this is my journal and I am currently consumed with this topic. But I probably wouldn’t enjoy reading about someone else’s oral health in Continue reading
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Wrong Convictions
Dear Conscience, Today I had convinced myself that I would win the lottery. I didn’t, of course. I also convinced myself that I might have mouth and throat cancer. I hope this conviction is just as wrong as the one about the lottery. Even though statistically the latter is probably (and unfortunately) more likely than Continue reading
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I Don’t Like My Family… Doctor.
Dear Conscience, I am self-medicating. I haven’t been able to breathe properly for weeks now. And yet, I am not taking the step to visit my doctor. I don’t trust my family doctor. She is old, and has misdiagnosed both myself and other family members plenty of times now. Which probably means that I should Continue reading
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Crawl Out of a Lull
Dear Conscience, It is time to slowly but steadily get out of my lull. But the trick is to do it without putting so much pressure on myself that I break down under it again. Yesterday I did a very basic brain dump of all sorts of to-dos. Today I didn’t look at the list Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 