self-help
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Sick or Tired
Dear Conscience, I can’t tell if I’m just overtired from not getting much sleep several nights in a row, or if I’m actually getting sick. I hope it’s the former. Either way, I should probably rest. But if you’ve been reading my letters, you know that I don’t have time for resting. I do want… Continue reading
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Shedding Habits
Dear Conscience, It’s much easier to break habits than to build them. I guess I’ve known that, but I also see it in practice now. But this time, I’m seeing the good side of it: breaking a bad habit comes easier to me than expected. It took me probably 50 days of writing here to… Continue reading
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Stretching the Canvas
Dear Conscience, When I started writing here, my expectations on where I would be by the time this year of 2023 rolls towards its end were clearly too ambitious. Even though I thought that they were quite tame. I had defined 7 spheres of life to focus on, and I had hoped to tackle at… Continue reading
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Gloomy
Dear Conscience, I feel heavy today. In part, the weather is gloomy, so maybe that contributes to my heavy mood. But in general, I just sometimes feel that I need to see some progress to remain hopeful that I will get to lead an enjoyable life. I don’t know yet why I seem to not… Continue reading
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Setting My 2024 Self Up for Failure
Dear Conscience, It’s so close to the end of the year, that simply not everything I want to get done, can get done. Even if the conditions were ideal. And they are not. One strategy is to delegate things into next year. I’ve already been resorting to that in part. And I do need to… Continue reading
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My New Normal, Hopefully
Dear Conscience, Today is day 4 of my strict phone rules. I’m getting a hang of it. It was a good day. I spent the whole day with my daughter. And while she was sleeping, I cleaned up the kitchen. That was the time when I otherwise probably would have been on my phone, and… Continue reading
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A Moment of Calm
Dear Conscience, I’m sitting in a coffee shop, waiting for my car to be done at the mechanics. This is one of those unexpected pauses where I can do nothing but wait. Just me and my phone. And yet, I’m not scrolling. I’m writing to you, because I am finally having some initial success in… Continue reading
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A Squeeze
Dear Conscience, A floodgate of new to-dos just opened, and my time available became permanently smaller. Shift in the opposite direction of what one would hope. I’m getting squeezed from all sides. I have to think that now this will force me to get my act together, and that the new-found willpower will compensate for… Continue reading
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Evening Showers
Dear Conscience, I am getting better at not succumbing to the lure of my phone through most of the day. The evening, that little time gap between my daughter going to sleep and me going to sleep, is when my willpower wears off, and I waste that precious time online. Instead, I should wind down… Continue reading
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Hanging in There
Dear Conscience, My mom is unwell. She is going to the hospital today, and we will hear if they want to keep her in, or what kind of diagnosis or therapy they recommend. I hope it will not be more of “wait and see”, because she keeps getting worse, not better. And I worry, but… Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 