self-help
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Moving the News to Audio
Dear Conscience, A step back to get clarity on why I am failing, despite trying hard, to keep away from (1) scrolling the news on my phone. Or (2) searching the internet for random thoughts (and paranoias). Or (3) sometimes just trying to find random reasons to keep glued to my phone instead of facing… Continue reading
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Rough Day Ahead
Dear Conscience, Today is going to be rough. One of those days with too many balls in the air, and I need to prepare for all scenarios, but I’m paralyzed instead. Ok, out of bed, and into the battle. Sincerely, B. Continue reading
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Still on the Ground Floor of Progress
Dear Conscience, this will be my 99th day in a row that I am writing to you. This is now a habit, performed without need for willpower, without effort. I actually enjoy it. I feel like I need it in my day. Which helps me remember it even on days when the schedule is such… Continue reading
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Grinding Through Today Instead of Grand Plans for Tomorrow
Dear Conscience, Always again. I fumble a day, make grand plans for tomorrow, and then tomorrow an unexpected turn of events makes the grand plan impossible. So it would have been better to have gotten it done yesterday. Also, had the ‘turn of events’ not happened, I probably would have fumbled anyway, and gotten maybe… Continue reading
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Sense of Urgency About the Future
Dear Conscience, I am sitting in my living room, cleaner than it has been for a long time. Including the nooks that usually were just piles of stuff covered by a blanket, or shelves overflowing with clutter. Now, I am only talking about openly visible spaces. Open the cupboards or the drawers, and it’s mayhem… Continue reading
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All I Want to Do Is Cave In
Dear Conscience, A lot of tension today between doing what I need to do and what I feel like doing instead. It is so persistent. And I know about the advice of replacing “I HAVE to do this” with “I WANT to do this”. But as many other things, easier said than done. My urge… Continue reading
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Byebye Netflix
Dear Conscience, Not much new today. Except that I am cancelling Netflix. I had already cancelled HBO and Disney+. I didn’t have them all at the same time, but right now, I don’t need any of them. Some great content, for sure. But not as important as my life that I have to focus on… Continue reading
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Yet Another Day of “Busy”
Dear Conscience, As you know, I let myself fall pray to procrastination over the weekend. In part because I’m so tired. Some would probably say I need and deserve rest. And that might be true. But the problem is, rest doesn’t decrease my workload, and I always need to make up for it. I don’t… Continue reading
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Wrong Decision Alert
Dear Conscience, When there’s so many things to get done, I have a problem with prioritization. I am quite bad at prioritizing to start with, but now it becomes just almost impossible. Everything seems important, I can’t tell what’s more urgent, I can’t tell what will take more or less time, and I just want… Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 