self-help
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No Judgment, Just Habit
Dear Conscience, In order to successfully integrate a practice of managing a daily to-do list, it has to become a habit. In thinking this throng, I realized that my so-called 3 “basic” or “core” habits are more about following rules I set out for myself, instead of the “micro” “tiny” or “atomic” habits recommended more Continue reading
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Almost Forgot
Dear Conscience, I almost forgot to write to you today. It was a pleasant day. I spent the whole day with my daughter. I didn’t have an expansive to do list, but still happy with how it turned out. The two of us bought a gift for a cousin who’s visiting tomorrow and cooked dinner Continue reading
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Ivy Lee, Rescue Me!
Dear Conscience, I struggle with to-do lists. Not just with checking off the items, but also with writing them down in the first place, referring to them later, or having any consistency at all. I tried simple, with post-it notes that end up creating more desk clutter than help. I tried complicated, with labels, dates, Continue reading
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A Panicked Brain Seeks Relief
Dear Conscience, The most important thing is to keep a cool head. When I start to panic, I lose rationality. A panicked brain seeks relief. Quick relief is usually the “go-to vice”. Mine is procrastination. I do not benefit from quick relief. I benefit from calm. This should be my mantra. Sincerely, B. Continue reading
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Procrastifear
Dear Conscience, I am not doing very well. This existential angst comes over me, and it is paralyzing. My recent days of reviewing my core habits was just a feel-good exercise to make me feel like I am in control. But I am not. I am afraid of underperforming at work, and this fear is Continue reading
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I’m Very Close to Completely Breaking With My Phone Addiction
Dear Conscience, My 3rd and final core habit is under review today: the one about limiting my phone use. I’ve tinkered with this one a lot. Finally I realized that more guardrails is better. Now my phone is in “focus mode” 24/7, with even the browser locked unless I need it for justified reasons. I Continue reading
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The Night Formula
Dear Conscience, My 2nd core habit, after writing to you, is that I should stay away from a phone screen at night. Might not seem like a big deal, but I spent many a night awake, scrolling on my phone, feeding my biggest fears: serial killer Wikipedia bios, FOMO-tracking of crypto markets, cases of child Continue reading
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Habit Review
Dear Conscience, I’m in the process of reinforcing my 3 basic habits. Yesterday I reviewed my Habit#1, which is writing to you daily. This habit is largely ingrained, and doesn’t need much building anymore. But it did need some refining: namely, I had to limit some negative externalities. Specifically, the urge to check the stats Continue reading
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Why Do I Write Here?
Dear Conscience, I have been writing to you daily, and publishing my letters on this blog, since last summer. It is not really blogging, it is more like public journaling. And I definitely experience the widely touted benefits of journaling, the habit has been helpful in my daily life. The question is, why is my Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 