self-help
-
No Agenda Today.
Dear Conscience, Today I rest. Not by scrolling. That’s not allowed even on a rest day. But simply a day with no agenda. If I get a chance, I’ll unpack. But only if I get to do it slowly, without stress. Sincerely, B. Continue reading
-
Pockets of Time
Dear Conscience, Today was a little better, having started respecting my basic rules again, even while traveling. And I hope to keep it up during the rest of my trip. Here’s what I need to keep in mind, so that my mind doesn’t play a trick on me: If I can’t seize these pockets of… Continue reading
-
Travel is a Habit Disruptor
Dear Conscience, Travel is disruptive to my efforts of building good and steady habits. I let go of even my basics, like phone use limits and sleep. And it shouldn’t be. Travel cannot be an excuse to leave all my efforts to date by the wayside. And here I am, having to go back to… Continue reading
-
Inertia and Panic
Dear Conscience, It’s been a few bad days… I made some rash financial decisions, which will now cost me money. This shows that I’m panicking. And panic response just digs me in deeper. Then I feel stupid and guilty, and I externalize those emotions at home with my family. It also shows why I need… Continue reading
-
New Beginnings
Dear Conscience, I spoke about my gripe with streaks. And here’s an example of the cruelty. I have been writing to you every day for 116 days. It is my longest streak of anything ever. Yesterday, on day 117, I wrote to you again. But I was in an airplane, so offline, and I saved… Continue reading
-
Last Ditch Effort
Dear Conscience, I am disappointed, but not surprised. I know myself. I was hoping this time would be different, but it is not. I am scrambling yet again in the last remaining hours that I have left before a family holiday trip. I will not be back until 2024 has started. I am taking mental… Continue reading
-
Saved by the Bell Yet Again
Dear Conscience, it is the last day of my 4-day rescue plan for 2023, and it is falling flat. OK, not entirely flat. There’s a slight upward slope. I did get some things done, whereas my past self would have probably today been at the exactly same spot as 4 days ago. I want to… Continue reading
-
Prioritize and Deliver
Dear Conscience, on the 3rd day of my 4-day plan to avert disaster, I am not where I should be. Doesn’t help that all of this is coinciding with a bout of insomnia. I am not yet pessimistic, but probably because of my unrealistic perception of how little time I actually have left. I think… Continue reading
-
Just Trying to Get Through the To-Do Labyrinth
Dear Conscience, I’m on the second day of my 4-day plan to duct-tape my year together before it ends. First day wasn’t a total write-off, but it wasn’t stellar either. The first point about staying healthy was definitely ambitious — no way I will suddenly get into all these healthy habits now in the final… Continue reading
-
Duct-Taping the Year
Dear Conscience, I have 4 days to wrap up a large chaos, and somewhat pack up this year into a somewhat manageable ending. So, this is my 4-point plan for the next 4 days: The next 4 days are key to wrapping the year up. It won’t be a neatly wrapped package. But at least… Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 