time
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My New Normal, Hopefully
Dear Conscience, Today is day 4 of my strict phone rules. I’m getting a hang of it. It was a good day. I spent the whole day with my daughter. And while she was sleeping, I cleaned up the kitchen. That was the time when I otherwise probably would have been on my phone, and Continue reading
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A Moment of Calm
Dear Conscience, I’m sitting in a coffee shop, waiting for my car to be done at the mechanics. This is one of those unexpected pauses where I can do nothing but wait. Just me and my phone. And yet, I’m not scrolling. I’m writing to you, because I am finally having some initial success in Continue reading
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All I Want to Do Is Cave In
Dear Conscience, A lot of tension today between doing what I need to do and what I feel like doing instead. It is so persistent. And I know about the advice of replacing “I HAVE to do this” with “I WANT to do this”. But as many other things, easier said than done. My urge Continue reading
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Byebye Netflix
Dear Conscience, Not much new today. Except that I am cancelling Netflix. I had already cancelled HBO and Disney+. I didn’t have them all at the same time, but right now, I don’t need any of them. Some great content, for sure. But not as important as my life that I have to focus on Continue reading
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Wrong Decision Alert
Dear Conscience, When there’s so many things to get done, I have a problem with prioritization. I am quite bad at prioritizing to start with, but now it becomes just almost impossible. Everything seems important, I can’t tell what’s more urgent, I can’t tell what will take more or less time, and I just want Continue reading
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Zig-Zagging in Place
Dear Conscience, Yet another setback. They are so frequent these days. I should have done a lot of this work at a time of my life when I depended more just on myself. But that’s spilled milk, and crying over it, or crying over myself in general, won’t help me. I’ve done plenty of that, Continue reading
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Catch-up Mode Is Not a Good State of Being
Dear Conscience, I think a part of why it’s easy to keep falling off the rails when trying to get back on track after a crisis, is that, at least in my case, I am in somewhat of a panic mode trying to catch up with many things at once, that don’t together sum up Continue reading
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Progress Isn’t Linear
Dear Conscience, I don’t know what to tell you except to repeat that progress isn’t linear. I do still have high hopes for my ‘phone as a tool‘ policy. I didn’t follow it strictly enough today. I didn’t let go completely, this is important. But I did spend more time on my phone than what Continue reading
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Smartphone Is a Time Thief, so I Locked It Up.
Dear Conscience, It is mind-boggling to think and realize how much of this world’s focus, energy and potential is wasted on the smartphone. Not that people didn’t waste time before… But this is on another level. It steals time, and we know this, but we don’t realize how bad it really is. I was actively Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 