money
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Why Do I Write Here?
Dear Conscience, I have been writing to you daily, and publishing my letters on this blog, since last summer. It is not really blogging, it is more like public journaling. And I definitely experience the widely touted benefits of journaling, the habit has been helpful in my daily life. The question is, why is my Continue reading
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Fear of Pulling the Plunge
Dear Conscience, I am dealing with the unpleasant topic of sorting my finances these days. Only now that I’m faced with the topic directly do I realize the level of my discomfort. I made some progress in terms of taking stock of my savings, and making a plan of moving them out of just sitting Continue reading
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Time + Money
Dear Conscience, Yesterday was a good day. Not perfect, but decent. I dipped my toe into my second big theme after Time, and that’s Finances. Even though it wasn’t a graceful planned dip, but more of a panicky rush to cool off a burn. I think my 2 days of anxiety pushed me into needing Continue reading
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Personal Finance Baby Step: Earn Interest
Dear Conscience, I continued this morning to take some steps around my finances, after taking stock of my checking accounts yesterday. Unfortunately I live in a tricky jurisdiction (a small country with limited options in terms of financial and banking products), so I spent more time than necessary to find out an option to move Continue reading
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Finance Check-In (11P.M.)
Dear Conscience, It is 11pm, my last check-in with you today. I haven’t done great. I did some minor tasks that needed to get done, but I didn’t do any substantial work today. I did take some time to take a step back over the root cause of all this anxiety spiral: my finances. I Continue reading
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Finding the Bottom of My Spiral (6 A.M.)
Dear Conscience, I am spiraling. It is 6am. I haven’t slept since 3am. I think it’s existential financial dread of the future, which somehow gets extra triggered by external circumstances that show me how my inaction is leaving me further behind. Right now probably it’s the Bitcoin fever. Yet another boat I missed. Or the Continue reading
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The Work – Anxiety – Procrastination Puzzle
Dear Conscience, I realized that having to work is causing me anxiety. And this anxiety is what causes me to procrastinate on it. Now that my main current focus is on actually spending my time working, I realize that I procrastinate by daydreaming about winning lottery and not having to work at all. Literally, I Continue reading
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The Lottery Indicator
Dear Conscience, Getting in control over my finances is a huge task. I do need to start small, otherwise it would seem so insurmountable that I would not even start. As noted, my main focus now is to get a steady stream of income by putting in at least 6 billable hours every workday. While Continue reading
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Quickie
Dear Conscience, today is going to be short, because I got to get to work. My goal is to bill 6 hours a day. Yesterday, I had 2. I need to work up to 6. And it has to start now. Sincerely, B. Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 