motivation
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The Deadline Threat
Dear Conscience, the one thing I’m highly motivated by is the approaching (or usually already passed) deadline. I overdo it, and then I go back to slacking off to recover. These days, I am already so generally deprived of energy and motivation, that even for the deadline crises, I only sum up the amount of Continue reading
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Reward System
Dear Conscience, having concluded that I completely lack intrinsic motivation, I need a reward system. Chocolate sounds delicious, but one of my future goals is to reduce sugar intake, so maybe not ideal. I think moments of peace outside maybe. Or, my new brilliant idea — spurts of satisfying curiosity. I’ll send an important set Continue reading
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Intrinsic Motivation
Dear Conscience, it seems that conscience alone is not enough to motivate me, until there’s external repercussions (e.g. disappointing somebody else). And that way, I never prioritize getting my life in order and under control. I just saw a message from a girl from uni who is asking for tips for her friend traveling to Continue reading
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Return to Conscience
Dear Conscience, Yesterday, I just completely forgot to write to you. It wasn’t the worst of days, but still, I know your value and it is my core conviction that I should write to you daily. What would be the best time to write to you, so that it might become a habit, but also Continue reading
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Dear Conscience…
… I’ve been hiding. But I realize, the only purpose of this free blog that nobody reads, is to act as my conscience. Because someone sometimes could potentially maybe stumble on it, carries a slightly higher accountability level than my paper notebook. And while I much prefer writing with a pen to typing, I really Continue reading
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Time for a Mental Health Break
I am not choosing to do this. I have to. I hope sleep will help. I also hope this is one of those “things get worse before they get better”, rather than this whole ‘project’ being yet another attempt at improving myself that will end up in the recycle bin. I really need this to Continue reading
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Inspiration or Procrastination?
So the Sunday theme is playful, to get my mind off the to-do’s and into a place far away from the anxiety of getting my life on track. However, if I just let it be easy, I end up (like I did today) watching yesterday’s SNL episode on YouTube. Is humor inspiring? It can be. Continue reading
About Me
I got my first nickname when I was 4 years old. It was “bakitza”, which means ‘an old lady’. I’ve always been an old lady on the inside. And as I progress towards being an old lady on the outside too, I want to take control of this journey. To reach the full fledged bakitza level with a peace of mind I always associated with that life stage. I thought it would come on it’s own with age. But now I realize that I have to take control over the mess that my life currently is in order to be a thoroughly satisfied bakitza one day.
Becoming Bakitza 